physical impairment

I'm having some health issues right now. I am not doing my best simply because my migraines have returned and I am a firm believer that it's because all the negative energy all the negative thoughts are trapped inside my body swirling around making me feel like crap and although I was thinking that I was feeling like crap it has gotten to the point where I'm actually physically feeling like crap. My migraines have returned and my migraines are so bad they mimic strokes and I was so uncomfortable that I was sleeping in the fetal position trying to escape from the world so hard that I have a pinched nerve somewhere in my body that has resulted in both of my hands being numb and tingling my left arm was so bad that it felt like my fingers were going to explode and I think that it's called orthorastic syndrome I can't remember but anyway the doctor was talking about that it could have resulted in blood cuts and that could kill me. And we don't want that so I said I can't do this anymore my main goal is to help people and I understand that you can't help people until you help yourself but you know what a blog is cathartic it allows me to get my feelings out and the point is that although I want to hide all the negative sides to my life those negative sides could help other people so I'm doing it. I'm helping people by communicating my own shortcomings and right now my biggest shortcoming is my physical state I feel like crap my brain is fogged I can't think straight because every time I look at my computer all I see is failure and the failure is all mine I watched other people go ahead and create their blogs during covid and although I was working on my products I never published them so it's called self sabotage and I'm well aware and then I also realized that I haven't been committed to my spiritual practice and when you don't commit to some sort of spiritual practice meditation Church whatever it is that you do you're neglecting a certain part of yourself that is very necessary if you're not a spiritual person you don't understand what I mean but even an atheist understands in committing to their logical practice that when you neglect that for the things of the world that influences you it takes a toll on you when you neglect your own moral compass whatever it may be you get lost and that's where I've been and I'm sick and tired of being lost good quite frankly is getting on my nerves and I have a 5-year-old that I need to homeschool. So I need to get back on track with my home education and everything that helped me up into this point I need to communicate it more effectively. And that's what I'm going to start doing so if I have to log 100 blog posts today to get all of those thoughts out of my head and on the paper so that you guys understand what it is that you guys can do to help yourself so be it I'm up for it and just like the other blog post I need to just start so that's what I'm doing I'm starting and I'm explaining that I am in such a physical deterior physically deteriorated State at the moment that I'm not even going to allow that to stop me I'm tired of allowing people tell me oh you don't feel well you need to take time out and you need to stop and quite frankly stopping is what kills sharks and entrepreneurs in my point of view are sharks and they can never stop moving and if you keep all of the necessary things in place you should never have to that is the point of my brain keeping it moving balancing the burdens of all the things that you need to take care of in a day home family community all those things it can be done sometimes things get sacrificed but it doesn't mean that your children have have to be hedonist they can be good people even if there are some things that fall through the cracks if you are engaged in your community your community members can help fill those gaps. And I hope to keep it going to where you guys understand how to get those community members in your children's lives as a single parent to make sure that even though you don't feel those needs somebody who you trust is filling those gaps that you cannot complete and even though I think that families need to parents if you are a single parent that doesn't mean that you have to be an utter failure there are plenty of single parents that have success stories I will just be putting my hat in the ring is one of them and I will be including my sister and other parents as well I'm noticing a trend nowadays and my family but you know what that's a nice struggle not yours and my goal is to help not encourage I don't agree with being a single parent but it is what it is at the moment so if I can help lessen the burden then so be it because life has burdens all around you can't escape them but so long as you can navigate them without getting to this low point of actual physical impairment I've done my job.