1. In order to be a good mom, 100% of your time and energy must be given to your children.
2. There is a belief that motherhood and maintaining your dreams can’t co-exist. I remember in college being taught to be a feminist and I was told that in order to be successful I had to delay motherhood and marriage as long as possible because it would interfere with my ability to climb the corporate ladder and pursue my dreams.
So when I got pregnant this fear consumed me that my dreams couldn’t co-exist with motherhood (btw when I was young my grandma also told me when you become a mom your dreams get flushed down the toilet so when I heard it in college I thought my grandma was right).
When I became a mom I tried hard to maintain my dreams but then reason 1 popped in my head and I thought I wasn’t being a good mom. It don’t help that the father of my kids told me I would fail in business and motherhood. So I decided I wouldn’t fail in motherhood so I gave up my dreams to not fail.
3. I think people have twisted scripture over the years to justify women giving up everything to be a wife and mom. If that’s what women feel God is calling them to do then that’s perfectly fine, but I think some women also receive bad advice that is presented as gospel and it isn’t.
What do you all think? Why do moms give up their dreams?
We don't know how to balance our dreams and desires with our nature to be good parents. It is done on purpose to crush us and control us. Men can't handle alpha females that can do it all.
I gave up my dream of being a construction manager changing the face of all construction projects in a male oriented profession not only because I wanted to do the one thing that they say I'm supposed to do but because my ex-husband was abusive in that led to emotional and psychological problems that made me feel like I was less than. Along with the fact that all the red tape just sucked all the joy of creating and building anything, but in all intents and purposes I came to the realization that maybe being a construction manager of a global construction company just wasn't meant for me because at one point I didn't think I was ever going to have children and that dream just seemed so possible. But then think about that reasoning I mean I didn't think I was going to have children and I could just sit around the world and do all the things that my cousin does but at what sacrifice I wanted to be in my children's lives I didn't want to forget their birthdays or Miss graduations or things like that, but you also have to think about all those Men who built great industries and institutions and what part of their children's lives did they miss out on but in the same breath what legacies did they leave for their children?
Upon further investigation reflection I've come to the conclusion that maybe that's just not what was meant for me yeah I could have taken my children with me but I also experienced their routiness while I was in networking meetings when they were younger as well it made it very difficult for me to feel comfortable having business meetings and professional communications with people while my children were in tow even though I was modeling for them what it meant to be an entrepreneur and to start a business. Then I came to the realization that maybe my purpose is to build a model for others to be able to be in their children's lives and build a business it doesn't have to be home education because that is honestly what I'm passionate about considering that the educational system has failed millennials horrifically in preparing them to join society and the workforce and be disciplined in whatever it is that they do. So although I might have given up on my dream to be a global construction management mogul, I realized that maybe that was not my true purpose maybe that was not my main dream after all. Working from home and being in my children's lives simultaneously was my actual dream after they were born when I was married I wanted my husband to be the one to be the face of my construction management company and when that fell apart my evolved dream to be at home with my children was the one that was falling away at by the wayside not my construction management dream which I had ultimately passed on to my husband at the time to take that over I mean I enjoy you know looking over the contracts and the architectural plans and making little notes here and there and ordering things but that wasn't really bringing me joy once the red tape came in and all of the licensing and permits and bureaucracy and calling on contracts it was just annoying I just didn't want to do it and I could still get into real estate without having to be in construction to leave a legacy for my children. So we can say that women were not encouraged to be professionals but you know what we could have been professionals in different ways there are women who are doctors and still managed to take care of their children there are lawyers who still manage to take care of their children it all depends on what their dreams actually are so well we can say that women are discouraged from accomplishing their professional dreams my follow-up question is was that really their professional dream or their pride making it seem as though they needed to do those things to show that they were just as good or better than men. Or? That's something to think about no granted we will have some women that are just like yes I wanted to be a doctor I wanted to make sure that I made everyone around me healthy and safe and secure and then I also have my friend who wanted to be a security guard police officer and she also has children and she is a single parent of whom I would love to talk to you about this.
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